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Thank God I Did Not Settle

October 16, 2019

Looking at who I am and where I am today, I thank God I didn’t settle.

You see in January 2012 I said yes to a marriage proposal but come October that same year, I made the gruelling decision to walk away from it all. Some said I was strong enough to say no when coming to the heart breaking realisation that the particular path I was travelling had no real meaning or purpose and then some said I was doing a runner when things got tough.

Look there is three sides to every story and I’m not about bagging the other party or situation out but I did what was right for me and my future ahead. I looked beyond, weighed up the pros and cons of the relationship and clearly saw my life wouldn’t be exactly how I had anticipated. I suppose when you are caught up in the moment of being proposed to (which is every girls dream), the thought of not being entirely happy creeped up on me.

Despite being talked about and judged on so many levels after walking out on my engagement, I chose to put my best foot forward and move on.I grieved my decision for 6 whole months, not because I made the wrong choice but because I made the right choice. I put all that negativity behind me and I continued to mosy on in life.

The thought of change coming into my life kinda spooked me but I had to come out of my comfort zone and start embracing a new chapter. I began by keeping to myself, and I literally blocked people out. I changed my train of thoughts and I began believing in who I was as a person. It was these tools that gave me the courage, strength and determination I needed, to start trusting my instincts more and to carry on.

I look at me now and geez I have achieved so much in the last 7 years. As a result to this, I’m forever grateful to those who chose to not ridicule the particular decision I made in my life. I’ll forever show love to those that stood by my side through it all and those that continue to cheer when I reach certain goals.

Of course walking away from it all was pretty difficult but I learned quickly to surround myself with those that didn’t judge me or make me feel worthless. I dissected all the negatives in my life and found positives and I just focused on me. I became present in my thoughts and really nurtured myself with self care.

Whilst some of my past experiences and choices defeated me, it was those experiences and choices that actually shaped me. These days I’m not as hasty in my decision making and I’d like to think my learnings and maturity is the result of all that.

I can now say:

Cheers to my incredibly blessed life! Cheers to my wonderful husband Gary who loves me enough to put up with me.

Cheers to my amazing little girls who are my everything and cheers to those that didn’t judge and stood by me through the transformation.

I actually remember being that girl that wished I had it all and now I can confidently say it.

I am that girl and I do have it all.

Much love x

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